A Reference to What Once Was
by SuckMyDeck
Summary: River get's an unexpected peek into the Doctor's past. From the mouth of the Doctor himself...


River wasn't really in the mood for any food, and she certainly wasn't expecting company. It was just another dull night, But then again, the world brought about surprising things. This proved true, when River was just about to sit in a house that she was "borrowing" from a couple, whom were vacationing, when there was a light knock on the door.

She sat up, making her way to the door. leaving the tea she had set out on the table alone. Brows furrowed as she took hold of the knob, and yanked the door open slowly. The last person in the world she expected was standing there, wearing that same old, goofy smile she knew him for.

"Doctor," she said, giving him a once over, to see if he was injured. "What brings you here?"

"No reason," he replied, nodding, as he slipped by her and into the house. His scent flew past her nose, she couldn't help but smile like a twit.

"There's always a reason with you. We all know that."

He grumbled a bit, but made his way inside anyway. Eyes scanning the surroundings before he smirked, turning to his "wife".

"This isn't your house, is it, River?," he asked, then smirked lightly, plopping down on the couch, legs crossed as he watched her take the seat in the recliner across from him.

"Of course not, but don't you change the subject on me," River said in warning, as she grinned. Nothing made her happier than having the love of her life in front of her. Of course, it was odd that he'd show up like this. He had a reason for everything he did, no matter what it was, but now? She just didn't understand.

"What brings you here, Doctor?," she pressed again, tipping her head a bit, as she smiled lightly.

"Honestly, River...," he slouched a bit, clasping his hands together, palm to palm, as he pressed the joined form to his chin, and sighed. "I needed someone to talk to."

"-to talk to?"

"To confide in."

As he said this, River concern only skyrocketed. The Doctor? Coming to her for help? For confiding something? It wasn't like him at all.

"Confide? About what?," forcing her tone to remain calm, and not alter in accordance to the alert she felt.

"Have I ever told you about the Master and myself?," he asked, as River made an indirect bee-line for the spot on the couch beside him, sitting back to make herself more comfortable.

"We were much more than just friends..."

The doctor made his way into the living area, with a grin, holding a tray with two firm hands. Smile cemented on his face, he sat the tray down on the table. It was as though he was counting the tea cups, and each small string of steam that seemed to spiral from the hot liquid that lay inside the small, porcelain containers as he reached an arm to his left, draping it over his roommate.

"What are we to do now?," the Doctor inquired, with a light chuckle.

"We relax," his love replied, leaning in, gently capturing the Doctor's supple lips in a vaguely gentle kiss, before turning his attention back to the window of the TARDIS.

"You know...," the Doctor replied, as they floated past a dwarf star, the light from it, shining into the TARDIS, making it seemingly... luminous. "Relaxation always turns into something else with you.," with this, the Master laughed, shaking his head as he nuzzled into the smaller's neck, growling a bit, his teasing mannerisms coming to light.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy it."

Slender fingers wrapped around the handle of the tea cup, as the Doctor lifted it to his lips, blowing and sipping at the black tea within it, leaving one gawking River, staring at him in sheet disbelief.

"So you and the Master used to...," her eyes were running over the tea set, and the floor.

"Indeed we were," the Doctor said, his lips popping from the porcelain as he set the cup back down, grinning over at his wife, the move carefree look on his face, "And I enjoyed every moment of it."

"But I thought-"

"You thought wrong," came the almost immediate response from the raggedy man. "And I cherished every moment we shared..."

The Doctor fixed his hair, with a grin, and began to continue his recollection.

"Sometime's I think we're meant for greater things..."

"Like what?"

"We're an amazing race."

"I know. What of it?"

"Think about the possibilities; all the things we could accomplish."

Eyes riddled with curiosity, but a hint of fear, ran over the Master as the Doctor sat up, attention spiked.

"What do you mean?," was all he managed to choke out. Which, in comparison to all of the questions littering his thoughts in one fatal swarm, wasn't much.

"Life beyond Gallifrey. I mean, think about it. With the abilities and possibilities we have at our fingertips, the entire cosmos could be ours. All we have to do is reach...," Master responded, holding a hand up, his eyes entranced into the air before them. Yet it was as though he saw so much more. The adventurous look in his eyes made it feel as though he could see all of existences happening right before him. What was, what ever could and can be, as well as what will be.

"That's absurd. It's not our place to run things, and it most certainly not our place to take anything over. We're the peacekeepers of the universe. What would taking over the cosmos help?"

Sitting up, he scowled, a stifled groan turned growl in the pit of his stomach as he eyed the Doctor with so much confused intent.

"Of course, he got angry with you. You didn't share his outrageous views," River said, her voice like a knife, cutting into the mental replay her spouse was having.

"No-," the Doctor went on, sitting up, much more intent than prior as he clasped his hands together. "You see, his ideas... The ideals. The facts. None of it was absurd."

A confused River, whom couldn't quite grasp what she was hearing, sat up, her back straightening under the sudden strain she found herself under. Was the Doctor saying Master was right? Was he agreeing with insanity itself? No... Assumptions never helped a situation. Instead, she decided. to merely clear her throat and nod. Not quite fully understanding what the Doctor was getting at, it occurred to her that he'd explain. Or, at the very least, attempt to.

"He was right. The Timelord's could have quite easily conquered the cosmos. Factually speaking, with most of us a live, and our combined intelligence, it wouldn't have taken long either," he went on, "But that doesn't mean it should be done."

An uncontrollable smile curled on River's lips. There he was. The Doctor she knew. The one whom was always on the side of peace. and would never think himself higher than any one person. Or species. Or race.

"It drove us apart... That one, simple disagreement... It wasn't long after the Dalek's attacked. We were alone... Just on our way to evacuate the Gallifrey..."

"...Come with me!," The exasperated Master shouted, a hand clinging to his lovers own, not breaking their eye contact. The Dalek's small fleet had already taken down the surrounding area, and by the looks of it, they were the only two Timelord's left.

Doctor was scared, afraid, and not to mentioned, panicked. He was frantic for one thing; to escape the Gallifrey. His home was quickly being taken over by this enemy force, and his only real hope was the man whom stood before him.

"Where are we going? I thought you lost your TARDIS...," he said, in an almost whisper, looking off as they ducked out of general view, hiding behind a pillar of the small building where most of the Timelords left their vehicles.

"I did. But we can always get another one."

The Doctor took this as cue, and unsheathed his Sonic, holding it up to the door. It slid open with a hiss, and there they stood. The beautiful, rare, hot rods of the Gallifrey.

"Master... if we-,"

But the other timelord was already running his fingers over one, imparticular. It looked like an old police box. Blue, with one door, and 4 small windows all the way around.

"That one's beautiful...," the Doctor said, taking a shy step forward, biting his lower lip. The temptation... It was overwhelming.

Unfortunately, the moment of beauty and appreciation was soon brought to an abrupt end as the sound of the oncoming Daleks filled the small garage. The Doctor's eyes widened as the Master's narrowed.

"I-,"

"Get into the TARDIS, start it up, set a date, and I'll be right behind you," the Master said, cutting off the Doctor. Instinctively, and mainly due to his overly loyal persona when it came to the love of his life, he turned to the TARDIS, opening the door. But before boarding, he turned, taking firm hold of Master's arm, tugging him into a deep, passionate kiss. His fingers gingerly ran over his loves cheek, as the Doctor pulled away, slowly; finding himself savoring the tender heat of the other's lips.

"Don't you leave me alone... You better be right behind me," the Doctor said, his firm tone of voice slowly being shaken off by the ominous tears that threatened to spill at any second.  
In hopes of reassurance, the Master place his arms around the Doctor's waist, kissing him gently, and swiftly, all of it happening in one suave movement as he pulled away, walking towards the exit. The sound of the Dalek's was almost the equivalent as a car horn going off, continuously on an empty street. The only real, true. audible sound in that area. Those cold, heartlessly robotic voices filled the air with immediate scorn and hate.  
All of this ceased when the Master turned, and went to face the male who was stepping into the TARDIS.

"You go on. Like I said, I'll be right behind you."

Nodding firmly, he turned, and exited the garage, leaving our Doctor to set the time, date, and location for his travel. He was frowning, he opened the door to the TARDIS, only to find that he had already reached his destination... and his lover was no where to be found.

"So... Next time you saw him...," River said, quietly, almost inaudibly as she choked back a sob.

The doctor looked over at her, and forced a small smile.

"He was completely insane... He wasn't the same person I fell in love with..."

Suddenly, everything made sense to her. Why the Master was always such a delicate subject with him. Why they didn't just kill one another whenever they saw each other afterwards. It wasn't just the two trying to salvage the crumbling remains of a dying race... But because they still loved one another... It didn't take River long to put two and two together. His hesitance, awkwardness, and clear dislike of open affection with couples. The Doctor wasn't used to it. His love for the Master never truly died, and she could guarantee even now he was still holding it. Close, if not directly in the center of, his heart. He didn't want anyone else... He wanted the Master. Feeling as though she was intruding on the Doctor's business, merely by thinking, she shook her head, blonde curls bouncing about as she did so.

"...But you must still love him," she said, being caught off-guard as the Doctor sprawled himself out on the couch, placing his head in her lap.  
Soon finding herself carding her fingers through his hair, in hopes of comforting him, she smiled. He closed his eyes, and a relaxed smile washed over his features. This, was his silent thank you to her, for her listening, for her understanding, but most of all, for her caring.

"I'll always love him..."


End file.
